http://www.dietingtaketwo.com

I have moved everything over there, updated some things, etc – I’m still working on a few little things, but the important main stuff is done! If you see anything over time – please let me know!

Enjoy! Click here to go straight there without copy/pasting that address above!

A friend mentioned to me that she can tell I’m different this time around… I have a different attitude, I’m more motivated, more into it than I used to be… more understanding of what is going on with my body I guess is a good way to put it.  Before I always thought I had to quit eating certain foods, exercise a certain amount, add certain foods to my diet, buy certain products, etc… I thought ALL of that was going to take the weight off… but guess what?  It didn’t.  Know why?  Because I didn’t let it, and I didn’t give it 100% of my attention… nor did I truthfully think about the factors I needed to help me maintain a healthy life style.  I was making FAR too many choices right off the bat that set me up for failure right away.  You know how that goes usually, right?  You give up after a few weeks/month.  Been there done that and I wasn’t going to do it again!

A big piece of my motivation is for this fall… I have 2 weddings, 1 of which is for my cousin and a classmate of mine.  The classmate of mine will have several of our high school classmates there for the dance and I absolutely positively want to show them all that I won’t always be the “fat girl”.  Not that I care what they think, but for a mental thought for me… that’s what I want… I want to show them!  More importantly for me though, I want to feel confident.

I haven’t been trying incredibly hard this time around to lose the weight… I’m trying to make it as seamless as possible.  If I jump in head first, I promise you I will not continue this.  I think that is what making it this time that much easier.  I am just doing it – I’m not thinking about it all the time, it doesn’t occupy my mind every minute of every day like it normal would have.  The times I think about it during the day is when I eat (obviously!) and when I stand up and walk to where ever I’m going.  My stomach muscles are tighter, my pants fit better, I’m not bloated, etc… and THAT is what is making it so much easier this time around! 

Right now I’m listening to Donna Krech’s Motivation Assassination CD and it is absolutely amazing – and has SO MANY valid TRUE points of why people fail at trying to lose weight.  I wish I could put it on here for you to listen…! 

**I am slowly getting a new website set up for my diet blog – I’m working on the theme right now.  Stay tuned.  When I do get it up and running, I will update you all here and provide a direct link to my new spot!**

So I thought, and I thought about a handful of things that I would love to do as a reward to myself for accomplishing something I have been wanting for so very long. 

Makeover:  Thought about this, however I can do my make up and hair and dress half way normal WITH extra weight, what will I beable to do withOUT that extra weight?  That’s a challenge I want to do all by my lonesome!  Spend oodles of time and hours looking for my new fun clothes, at my own little pace! 

Tattoo:  I’ve been wanting a tattoo for some time.  Nothing extravagant, just something fairly small to signify my life, and attitude towards daily challenges… and to remind me when the going get tough, to keep pushing through.  I’ve thought about getting chinese characters of Strength, Faith, Love and Hope; I have also thought about getting the word Serenity written somewhere where I can see it every single day, perhaps on the inside of my wrist – just very small.  I was looking at the Serenity prayer, and I just love it.   I’ve thought about a few other things, but for now, these are what have come to mind. 

“God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.” ~Reinhold Niebuhr

Trip/Vacation: I would love to plan a vacation/trip in honor of me reaching my goal weight, but I’m not real sure at how achievable it is.  I would love to tell myself to plan a beautiful trip to somewhere tropical where I can for once feel comfortable in my own skin and not hiding under ridiculous amounts of clothing, etc… but I don’t want to say I’m going to go somewhere and then not go.  If I set a goal, and tell myself I am going to do it… I want to do it. 

Family Pictures:  I would love for Chris and I to go have some nice pictures taken of the two of us.  He is trying hard himself to get healthier, and he has been working very hard at it.  Of all the pictures him and I have over the past 4.5 years; to finally see us in a picture where we look so different, so much more alive… that would be great. 

Special Gift:  I’m not sure yet what this special gift would be; perhaps it’d be something that both Chris and I want or have wanted.  Maybe it’s a new bedroom set, or a new something for the house or… I don’t know, maybe even a child.  Maybe once we reach our goal weights and are healthier, and more dedicated to ourselves and our lives, maybe at that point we will realize that we are ready to have children of our own.  We don’t want to be the parents who can’t go outside and play with their kiddos or parents who are always so so very tired that they cannot go anywhere or do anything.  That is not fair to your child if you are giving up things for them to do in life because you let your own weight get out of hand.  So, the special gift could be many things… time will tell!

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On another note, sorry if this is TMI, but I just have to talk about this.  As you may or may not know, I have PCOS.  It is SO very common in women, and unfortunately it can deprive you of SO many things in life… one of them being children.  This is a tremendous fear for me as I would do just about ANYTHING to have a child of my very own.  I was diagnosed when I was 17-18 years old, I hadn’t had my period yet… and I was started to feel left out.  That sounds strange, but when you reach your senior year in high school and all of your friends at one time or another talk about their monthly cycle being a pain, etc – you feel weird, or left out because you don’t know how to act; as you don’t want to tell them that you don’t have your period yet.  Most girls get them in middle school.  Now, of course, looking back it was a perfectly fine thing that I didn’t get it until later in my school years… however, that was one of the main reasons for the diagnosis. 

After I was diagnosed, my doctor put me on Yasmin birth control, and my periods came monthly just like anyone else.  Eventually I don’t know what happened, but about a year and a half after I was diagnosed, I ended up getting pregnant, only to miscarry at 8 weeks.  It was bittersweet about the miscarriage, horrible that it happened… however, I was happy to know that I COULD get pregnant – or at least I did that one time.  I eventually had to be taken off my birth control pills because I was diagnosed with Factor V Leiden which is a blood clotting disorder, and has an increased tendency to form abnormal blood clots (and cause pregnancy complications).  So, with having the Factor V, I could no longer be on any hormonal birth control due to the clotting factor that these have; which mean’t I could no longer be on birth control, which helped manage my PCOS/periods.  I absolutely did NOT want to take any chances of getting a blood clot.  My mom has this, my uncle and another aunt have the FV Leiden, in fact my uncle almost died from a blood clot, and my mom’s dad who died at age 46 of a heart attack, had clots too – however he was never diagnosed with the FV Leiden.  It just wasn’t a risk that I was willing to take; so off the birth control I went.  After about a year of having less than 5 periods in 12 months, I started dieting and I ended up losing about 35 lbs… after I started eating healthier and losing weight, my hormones were leveling out and my monthly periods were returning!  This was great, however I eventually gained back that weight and low and behold, my periods disappeared once again to a once every 3 months type deal over the past year.  This past January I started eating healthier again, and starting in February I got my P, and then about 29 days later in March, I got it again… and now here we are in April, and I got it again, right on day 27-28… this is a huge motivator for me… who would have thought getting your monthly cycle would be a motivator for someone to continue losing weight?  I didn’t.  Chris and I had a long discussion this weekend about children, and when we would like to start our own family… and I have ALWAYS been absolutely terrified and concerned about the fact that we will have trouble conceiving because I don’t ever get my periods.  Now that I know healthy eating, exercising and weight loss will help keep my cycle under control, and montly… I’ll be damned if I’m going to stop now.  I want a baby, and that is that… So, just another reason why I’m going to keep doing what I’m doing.  It’s not too hard to weigh out… chocolates, sweets, over-abundance of carbs, pop and no periods which means extra trouble getting pregnant… or, healthy eating, less sweets, good carbs, less/no pop, and monthly cycles which means better chances of getting pregnant……….. I bet you know which one I will pick!  ;o)

So, needless to say – as of yesterday, I was still down 1 lb from my last weigh in at Snap on Wednesday the 15th, however this AM I was up 2 lbs – I usually always go up a little bit when my P rolls around… and this is okay!  I know it’s my body doing wonky things, and I know come later this week or early next week, I’ll be right back to square one.  Any other time, this would have discouraged me and I would have thrown in the towel.  It’s a known fact that us females go through highs and lows (and hell and back!  Oh, our poor husbands!) that week out of the month, and I can’t feel guilty for getting on the scale tonight with one of my coaches and seeing a gain.  It’s just the way it is, and that’s okay – they as well as I understand! 

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I have been doing more reflecting over the past week.  I have been working hard at keeping the attitude I currently have… it’s what keeps ME going, and apparently inspiring others.  I’m so proud of that, and I’m so happy that me of all people, who 6 months ago would have rather stayed curled up in my own shell, is now starting to come OUT of that shell and be the person she truthfully wants to be.  This is HUGE!  I’m learning things that I can and cannot do, when I’m pushing it too far, and when I just need to step back and analyze what I’m doing so I don’t get tired or burn’t out.  Thankfully I haven’t had a whole lot of burn out feelings or tired feelings – because seeing the changes in my body is making it absolutely worth it, and inspiring myself to keep on, keepin’ on.  This past week, however – I have had a little lower routine as far as physical workouts go.  I blame my parents.  No, no, I’m totally kidding! I only blame my parents because they were on vacation in California from Wednesday until yesterday, and I missed them at the gym.  I haven’t done the weight machines since last Monday, 7 days ago.  For that week prior, I was feeling pretty sore, and it took about 4 days to finally not feel like my arm was constantly carrying a 50 lb weight around… however, I know I didn’t need to have off the past 7 days from those weight machines like I did.  Monday night, my parents and I worked out like normal – 30 mins cardio and about 45 min to an hour on the weight machines.  Tuesday, they don’t usually work out, so I was going to go on my own.  I drove seperate to our park n’ ride to drive straight to Snap right after work as normal, except I made a horrible choice to read for about 5 miles in the car, on the way home from work, while sitting in the back seat.  Apparently that’s all it took for my stomach to start flopping in circles, and to migrate it’s way up my throat.  I drove home with the A/C on, windows down – fighting off the urge to get sick.  I got home, spent some time outside in the nice breeze, had a little relaxing time on the couch and then after about an hour, my stomach finally settled down and I started cleaning.  You know that strange feeling when you have the flu and then you puke and right after you feel a strange sense of energy?  That’s how I felt, only I didn’t have to throw up in order to get that way.  I changed into my comfy clothes at home, and got moving – I cleaned the whole house, vaccumed out my car, I broke out in a nice big sweat, and it felt great!  So, thankfully when I didn’t think I was going to get my workout in, I at least got some sort of physical activity.  Wednesday evening, I went to workout – weighed in, got measured, spent quite a long time talking with my coaches (who seriously owe a tremendous amount of thanks to, because they, especially Kari the owner got me to where I am right now, and I am SO thankful!) and it soon got to be 7:30/8pm and it dawned on me that our puppy (1.5 yr old german shepherd, ha!) was at home!!  He is usually at my parents house, outside but since they weren’t going to be home, Chris left him at home!  I got a late start getting to Snap anyways, since I started work an hour later than usually since I had to bring my parents to the airport, but still… so, I quickly did at least 15 minutes on the treadmill and ventured home.  I was sad I wasn’t able to work out like normal, as I had planned to do the weight machines and workout routine as normal, but Duke was happy to see me – and I ended up going to bed early anyways, which worked out well in the end.  Thursday then, I had a pre-scheduled 60 minute massage after work, from 5 until 6, and the plan was to go straight to Snap afterwards and do my workout… well, I didn’t leave my massage until 6:30, by the time I got to Snap it was nearly 7, Duke was at my parents house this time with their dog since I had planned to be home later anyways… and I got on the Arc Trainer like normal, and I was so incredibly out of breath, SO quick… I could barely catch my breath, I had to keep trying to yawn to get a deep breath, I just didn’t have the umpf and feeling I normally had; I felt strange.  So, after 10 minutes on the Arc, when I normally can do 30 without a problem, I got on the treadmill and finished there for 20 minutes.  Still not filling well and with it being about 8 or so by now (as I had talked to Kari for a while!) I headed home… I just wasn’t feeling right.  After I got home, I relaxed a bit – drank some water, and went to bed.  Friday, I don’t remember what I did… I had plans of weighing in, but then I remembered that there was no coaching that night – so I went home and cleaned the house again.  This past weekend, didn’t really consist of a lot other than Chris and I spenting quite a bit of time together, which was much needed.  Some days I forget who I’m married to since we only see each others on the weekend as we work opposite shifts! 

So, as you can see – I didn’t have the best workout week, however worked out at least a little none-the-less!  I’m looking forward to tonight, I’ve missed it and it’s always fun when my parents are there, just because we have fun while there!  And, tonight and hopefully for the next month Chris will be coming with us too!  He went back to working days for the next month as he is training on a machine that my dad is running!  My dad and Chris work at the same place, and have the same occupation – and now they’ll be working on the same machine!   So, all 4 of us will be working out now… one little happy nerdy family!  Ha!

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So with yet another extremely long winded post that got way too indepth, I will leave you with a song my mom told me about this morning that she said is her new favorite.  I have a slight feeling it’s going to become my new favorite too… if you can figure out why!

Do more than exist, LIVE.
Do more than touch, FEEL.
Do more than look, OBSERVE.
Do more than read, ABSORB.
Do more than hear, LISTEN.
Do more than listen, UNDERSTAND,
Do more than think, PONDER.
Do more than talk, SAY SOMETHING.

- John H. Rhoades

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“By recording your dreams and goals on paper, you set in motion the process of becoming the person you most want to be.” -Mark Victor Hansen

Check it out for yourself!  When you click that link, read the paragraph that it first brings you to about the HELP Healthy Eating for Life Plan, and then it will tell you go to to the calculator and calculate everything out and it will then give you your meal plan and amounts of what foods you should be eating each day! 

I updated my Measurement History page and I wrote a little example of their HELP plan – here it is! 

Here is a pretty good website that I just randomly came across for calculating your health eating plan/weight, etc – this is for those of you who do not have a weight loss plan in motion.  I am not using this as I have my own, this is just an FYI type deal for you or whoever is interested:  Healthy Body Calculator.  It says my healthy weight range is anywhere between 125 to 168 lbs, however I have a goal of 170 for what I’m doing right now.  Once I get to 170, I’ll see how much further I want to go.  It is very interesting, it also tells me my current BMI, and what a healthy BMI for me would be; I put in my Waist and Hip measurements and it told me my ratio was .96 and I had an Apple Shape and that I am currently at an increased health risk.  It also tells you nutrition facts and how many calories you should eat per day, and it asks you if you need help planning your nutrition plan.  After you imput all of your information and right after it tells you your body shape, right below that, you can click on a button that says, “Do you need HELP with a healthy eating plan? Click here.” This is under “Your Nutrition Facts” and once you click this, it brings your age, gender, weight, etc over, and you can pick your food preferences.  I chose Skim Milk, because that’s what I drink – then I chose Lean Meats for the types of meat that I eat, I answered the rest of their questions, and then you calculate your way through and it gives you what you should have for breakfast, lunch, mid-afternoon snack, and dinner, and tells you how many calories each meal should be, and how many servings you should have – for instance, mine for dinner was 2 servings of vegetables, 1 serving fat free milk, 1 serving starch, 2 servings lean meat, and 2 servings fat – and for all items like vegetabls, milk, starch, lean meat and fat – you can click on those words and it brings you to a spreadsheet that you can pick from!  That is REALLY nice!  It also tells you after every 10 lb weight loss or gain, you are to come back and re-do the Healthy Body Calculator in order to stay on track to achieve your weight goal because your calorie target will change as you go.

As I told you before, when you click on vegetable/lean meat/starch, etc a spreadsheet comes up of the vegetables, etc that you can pick.  Here is the vegetable spreadsheet.

Need help with Eating/Serving Size Suggestions?  Click that link!  Also, did you know it takes 21 days to make it a habit?  This link will also show you ways to succeed and make eating healthy a habit.

And last but not least, the HELP Healthy Eating For Life Plan which is from dietitian.com also says:  “Print out this individualized eating plan and use a new copy each day as a check off list to control the food you eat. It’s not just about choosing healthy foods; you also need to control portion sizes. There is no need to buy diet or special foods.” 

How right is that last sentence, “There is no need to buy diet or special foods.” — see, you have no excuse, you can do it!

THIS my friends, is what keeps me going!!! I got measured tonight… and I will every 2 weeks.  Results?  Yeah! See below!  The first number’s are my measurements on 3/30 (my first day with Snap) and the second numbers are my measurements today on 4/15 after TWO weeks of kicking butt… and the third number is the total lost, comparing my last measurement.  All numbers are in inches.

                 
Neck:  16.5 – 16  = -.5 
Shoulder:  44 – 45 = +1
Chest: 50.75 – 49.5 = -.75
Mid: 46.25 – 42.5 = -3.75 (!!!!!)
Waist: 44.5 – 42.5 = -2
Abs: 49 – 46.5 = -2.5
Hips: 47 – 44.5 = -2.5
Thighs: 26.25 – 25 = -1.25 x 2 (for 2 thighs) = -2.5
Knees: 20 – 18.25 = -1.75 x 2 (for 2 knees) = -3.5
Calves: 17.75 – 17.25 = -.5 x 2 (for 2 calves) = -1
Ankle: 10.25 – 10.25 = -0-
Bicep: 15.25 – 14.5 = -.75 x 2 (for 2 biceps) = -1.5
Forearm: 11.5 – 11.25 = -.25 x 2 (for 2 forearms) = -.5

Total Inches Lost for 1st Measurement: 21…TWENTY ONE! TWO-ONE!

Weight: 246.2 – 235.8 = -10.4 in 2 Weeks! 5.2 lb loss per week. Although I LOVE seeing 5.2 loss per week, I don’t want it to continue at this rate, I want it to come off so it STAYS off!
Body Fat %: 40.4 – 40.1 = -.3 loss in BF in 2 weeks!
Fat Weight: 99.4 – 94.5 = -5.0 lb loss of actual fat = 5 pounds of butter!
Lean Weight: 146.8 – 141.3 = -5.0 lb loss of lean weight = With a 10.4 lb loss in the last 2 weeks, this means I have gained +5 lbs in GOOD lean muscle! Yay!
Activity Level: 10 – 11.5 = +1.5 which means, my starting activity level was sedentary (10) and it has now increased to 11.5 which is activity 3-4 nights per week. Ya!
Metabolic Rate: 1468 – 1624 = +156 more calories every day that I’m burning now that I’ve started to be more physical!

I cannot even tell you how thrilled and happy I was with seeing that many inches lost, and lost in every part of my body. That tells me that I am doing something right, I’m losing EVERYWHERE! I also like looking at the Lean Weight Loss/Gain and BodyFat %, etc and the Metabolic Rate. This is all so very interesting, and REWARDING! I am SO proud, and SO happy that I am finally treating my body like it should be treated.

When I had my coaching tonight with Kari, the owner, she mentioned to me that she would like me to be her poster child, with my motivation and dedication, and positive attitude… I could inspire a lot of people. I know what type of inspiration I want to see, or what inspires ME… and I like to take that, turn that around and do my absolute best at inspiring YOU, because that KEEPS me inspired. It’s a thing that just keeps giving, and giving, and giving.

Proud of myself; I cannot even begin to tell you what that word means to me… and how it makes a person feel.

“You have failed only when you quit trying. Until then, you’re still in the act of progression. So, never quit trying and you’ll never be a failure.” ~Tommy Kelley

“My life tomorrow will be the result of my attitudes and the choices I make today.”

“Never give up on a dream just because of the length of time it will take to accomplish it. The time will pass anyway.”

Success is not a race, be patient.
Success leads to success.
Success is always a work in progress.
Success doesn’t come to you, you go to it.
Success is a journey, not a destination. Focus on the process.
Some people dream about success… while others wake up and work hard at it.
Success is achieved and maintained by those who try-and keep trying.
Everyday is a good day to SUCCEED!
If at first you don’t succeed-try, try again

What’s your excuse? If you have an excuse right now that you cannot lose weight, or that you cannot workout or get physical activity, or you have no idea where to start-so you don’t……well, guess what? NONE of your excuses are good enough, notta, none! You know why I know that those excuses aren’t good enough? Because I’ve been there… I’ve been RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE! I’ve told myself over and over and over again, ALL of my life… “I’m starting on Monday, I really am starting on Monday this time, I’m serious.” I bet you and I both know what I did, and that wasn’t “starting on Monday”. I’m not hurting annnnnnnyone else but MYSELF… do you like hurting yourself? Do you like every single day abusing your body? I bet you don’t… and you don’t have to. Why keep cheating your body and life out of something so amazing…

So tell me again… what’s your excuse?

“In addition to increased risk of health conditions, nearly 300,000 Americans die unnecessarily each year due to obesity-related health problems and obese people die younger than normal-weight people.” -I found this blurb here.

In the past years, I have tried dieting in the form of pills, exercise, not eating, depression, every fad diet out there it seems which includes LA Weight Loss (EXPENSIVE!!), Weight Watchers, plans with a close friend because “I was going to listen to her this time, and she was going to kick my butt in shape” and all sorts of other things. If you look back a few posts, you’ll see all the things I bought that I thought would allow me to succeed in my weight loss. I have spent ungodly amounts of money the past 6 months of things that truthfully, I don’t use. I can honestly tell you, I haven’t opened up a biggest loser cookbook and made a single thing out of there. I have spent oodles of money on those. I had the 30 Day Shred, TBL Cardio Max with Bob, Jillian and Kim, I have the bodybugg, the Wii Fit, Wii Jillian Game, the DWTS Latin Dance Cardio Dance DVD, I even joined TBL online club which gave me ALL of my food and exercise plans, and I’ve joined SparkPeople in the past (which was thankfully free!)… all sorts of stuff, and to be 150% honest with you, I have never ever had the feeling of dedication and inspiration with them that I had now, well other than the bodybugg. I spent let’s see… let’s just tally this all up.

bodybugg: $340
30 Day Shred: $14
TBL Cardio Max: $15
TBL Online Club with 3 cook books: $60 for 3 months
WW Online: $60 for 3 months
SparkPeople: $0 (free and AWESOME for those of you who need only a little extra push)
TBL books (4): $55
Wii Fit: $90
Wii Jillian Game: $30
WW at Work: $200 total with sign up fees and weekly $10 payments for weighing in
DWTS Latin Cardio Dance: $20
LA Weight Loss in 2007/08: $500 or more TOTAL over the course of 6 months (includes sign up fee, weekly bars, etc)

Am I forgetting anything? Let’s see what I’ve spent over the course of the past let’s just say 4 years. After totalling it all up, I’ve spent $1,384.00 on STUFF, stuff that I never truthfully gave my heart to. I will say though, I can take the bodybugg out of that equation for sure (I LOVE THAT THING!!), so that gives me $1,044.00 over the past few years (mainly within the past year) that I have spent on “trying to change my life.” And I never stuck to those things. I gave LA Weight Loss a good chance, I did lose some weight on that, but it came all back on within 6 months of losing it, WW Online just never stuck with me, TBL Online Club didn’t work for me because I didn’t like the program/online formatting, and TBL cookbooks are great, I just never used them. I also have the TBL Fitness Program book and TBL 30 Day Jump Start book which I didn’t barely look through; I wasn’t ready.

Looking back over the past 30 days, I have changed a lot. I started out just wanting to give up… I knew I was big, I knew I had a go 60 or so pounds to lose, but I started getting comfortable in my own skin. I always told myself, “I could be bigger, I could have it worse, I’m not the only one weighing 246 lbs out there, that’s nothing right? Right!” and I’d be on my merry little way to DQ or McDonald’s. I’d tell myself that, and while some people would give their left arm to be 246 lbs; with that being my so close to my heighest weight ever, I had a completely different mind set. I didn’t want to try to better myself, I was going to be fine just where I was at… that was no question. Until, one day it hit me… looking in the mirror and seeing pictures of myself; I wanted to cry. That wasn’t me in that picture, or in that mirror… I didn’t want that to be me. I wanted to be proud, to make my husband proud because I know he wants me to feel better about myself too. Over the course of the past few months, my parents joined Snap Fitness near our home, directly on our way home from work. My dad is a big guy, however only weighing his highest at 255 lbs, 6’1″ I believe he is. He was a big guy, but far from extremely obese… except he knew he wanted to lose a few pounds, he knew he had to do something before his weight continued to raise. And, my mom? She’s 5’8″ 140 lbs… she doesn’t need to lose any weight, but she enjoys working out, she enjoys staying physical and staying strong, both mentally and phyically. Over the past 4 years, since we had a horrible tragic death in our family, she has really kicked her healthy-ness in gear. She has been dedicated ever since to make herself a better person or the person she wants herself to be. She always feels better when she works out, and as an added benefit, or extra kick in the butt, she has a motorcycle, and she wants to make her arms are stronger for holding her bike up. She wants to focus on making HERSELF a more confident person. She can tell if she gains weight in her stomach, or thighs or arms… so she targets that area and works that much harder. Our family (her side of the family) was “blessed” with some extra flab on our upper arms… and she has ALWAYS been self conscious of this… so what did she do? She worked on them! Since my dad and her have been working out at Snap, in the last 6 weeks, he has lost 6.5 inches, gained an inch (muscle!) in his calves and thigh I believe, and lost an inch around his belly, and chest and his biceps and an inch in his neck. I’m not sure if his biceps got bigger or not… and his weigh stayed the same (total though as of this morning, he was down 14 lbs since January – I’m not sure how long that took him, but in the past week he finally got over his plateau and was down 5 lbs! He was SO proud of himself, his confidence level has SKY ROCKETED! My dad, of all people… since when do dads have confidence issues? I never really thought of that much before. Dad also lost a whole percentage of body fat I believe. I am SO proud of him. And my mom, she has lost inches too, and gained a lot of lean good muscle… I think her weight stayed the same, or even went up a pound or two with the muscle gain… either way, they are dedicated, and proud, and motivated to make themselves better physically, and feel better mentally.

The reason I mentioned Snap was because… my parents always always always know that I want to lose weight, that I hate being overweight like I am, and that I don’t do very well at sticking to my guns and giving myself the credit I do deserve. I’ve always been a Daddy’s Girl, I’m an only child… and since I’m built very much so like my dad, he knows why I want to work out (we have the big upper body, big rib cage, belly, wide neck, etc – take a look at my picture history page for proof!) and he knows I want to work out… he and my mom had been talking, and Dad said to me one day, “If my baby (he always calls me baby) joins Snap with us, I will pay for your monthly membership fee.” I said, “Dad! Really? You don’t have to do that.” His response? “I want to do that for you, for my baby… I want my baby to be healthy.” I at first told him, no that’s okay, and that Chris might get angry considering the amount I had spent in just the past 6 months alone on diet/fitness stuff. Then, after a little thought, a week or two passed and I messaged mom at work (we work together at the same company and can chat via instant messaging), I told her, “I’m joining Snap with you guys, that’s it!” And I did…that was that. I signed up that next Monday, and the rest is history. I cannot even begin to thank my parents for so graciously offering to pay for my monthly membership.. I didn’t want them to pay for it, as I gave my check card number to Kari (the owner) first, and then Dad insisted that he was paying for it, so Mom had it changed over. I am SO thankful they offered that to me, it has given me a WHOLE new outlook on working out, and being there. My mom and I along with a few neighbors carpool together to and from work, and my dad has a carpool as well… the Snap we all go to is on our way home from work, so Dad has his carpool drop him off on the way home every Monday, Wednesday and Friday, and Mom and I do the same on those 3 days. We all get there together, and Dad, Mom and I will on occasion be working out (treadmill or Arc Trainer) all side by side together. Dad will look over at me and wink or give me a smirk, or I’ll be working on the Arc Trainer and Dad will be a few machines away on the Treadmill and he’ll look over at me and do some funny face and make me laugh, or Mom will be working out, and I can look in the mirrors back at what she is doing, and then I make fun or her, or she makes fun of me (we call each other Losers, or we hold up the L sign when we’re walking by each other, or through the mirrors, or mouth it to each other without saying it out loud, it’s an inside joke, ha! People probably look at us like we’re NUTS!)… and we just laugh, and laugh and laugh. It makes it SO enjoyable to be there with them, it is SO worth it and I look forward to it every Monday, Wednesday and Friday. Since I don’t live with them anymore, I don’t get to spend as much quality time with them as I used to, and since joining Snap with them, it has given a whole new meaning to quality time. Who thought I of all people would say we enjoy quality time together, working out… I know I sure didn’t. Anyways, I am so so thankful I have such great parents who support me in everything I do. I am SO lucky.

Since joining Snap, my first day was Monday March 30th. I weighed in at 246.2 lbs that afternoon. (With 250.0 being my highest weight ever in mid 2006, 246.2 was creeping way too close for comfort) I am proud to say, that as of my last weigh in with them on 4/8, I was down to 238.2, so down 8 pounds in 9 days. I am SO proud of myself… I have stuck to this, given it my heart, my all… and I am doing it. Over the Easter weekend, I had probably a bit more to eat than I should have, and I went up 2 lbs, however as of Monday afternoon, I was only .6 lbs up from my last weigh in with my coach on 4/8 weighing in at 238.8. I got on the scale this morning (grant-it no clothes, and in the morning) I saw 233.8 on the scale. When I would weigh in at 238.8 on the scale at Snap with clothes and at 4:30 in the afternoon (after a full day of eating), I would weigh myself that next morning at home, and the scale would read 235.8 (so there is about a 2 lb difference with clothes and without clothes), anyways, this morning when I got on the scale, like I said, it showed 233.8. I was astonished! So proud! I have done well today food wise as well… and I’m hoping this afternoon when I weigh in, that the scale reads between 235 and 236, that would be absolutely wonderful. It’s the littlest things that keep me going, and when I see even .1 down on the scale, it puts a smile on my face. It gives this life style change a WHOLE NEW MEANING.

And as you know, in my last post… When I joined Snap, I joined their Thin and Healthy Program (which isn’t free, FYI for those of you interested in it – however it is VERY decently priced, and so worth it!) – and I will tell you the one on one support they give you is amazing; you’re not just a person or a number or someone who just gives them money to stand on a scale… you are a real person, with true feelings, that needs advice more often than not and they see that. There are over 70 people from my Snap alone that are doing the T and H and seeing them there working out right next to you is SUCH an inspiration… these people have lost tons and tons of weight, it is such a boost to keep doing what you’re doing when you see them feeling so good. They just prove to you that it CAN be done. Like I said, we usually get there right after work, and it is the after work crowd that comes in and we all just get to know everyone, everyone encourages you, and notices if you’ve lost weight, them and the coaches are what keep you going. Everyone is there with you, every single step of the way… I don’t have to worry that I’m alone in this process or will be forgotten about, I don’t have to be concerned that I’m going to give up. I’m just not, I don’t have that temptation like I did with everything else I tried to do. Today for instance, I received a call from them just checking in, letting me know I hadn’t had a coaching session since last Thursday. You’re supposed to have them at LEAST 2 times a week, if not 3… and I was going to do it on Monday, but I just hadn’t written down my food for the that day and the Sunday prior, and I didn’t have time as I was working out with mom and dad and we only had one vehicle (I don’t want to make them wait around for me while I’m coaching, even though I know they wouldn’t mind), so I talked to one of the coaches and said I’d be back on Tuesday (yesterday) to coach, so I drove seperate to town, and got in with my carpool there, because I was going to go straight to Snap after work (my parents don’t usually work out on Tuesdays), but on the ride home I was reading something, and I got horrible car sick and I could not stomach the thought of working out with my stomach in my throat… so I got in my car, turn the AC on high because I had the sweats, and got home… man, I didn’t feel good. Once I got home, got some fresh air, I started to slowly feel better. Eventually after about an hour or so at home, I got a bug up my butt and I ended up cleaning my whole house, worked up a sweat even, like dripping sweat, ha! And then my uncle came over to use my computer and by 9:45, I was tuckered out and hit my pillow! So, today I am going straight after to work out, and coach. I’m excited, I always look forward to it – I can take my time, work out on anything I want – usually I like to spend about an hour and a half there – I do 30 minutes of cardio and spend the rest of the time doing the weight machines, sit ups on the ball (sometimes with a weight ball on my chest, good god that gets painful!), sit ups and leg raises on the floor with the ab roller. I have really learned how to focus while I’m working on the weight machines – focus on which muscle hurts, which muscle is being worked, which muscle isn’t being worked, and which ones I really need to work on. I’m finding tremendous joy in working out; there is something so calming about it – so releasing. If I am not looking forward to going some day at work, or what not… once I get there, it’s like a switch flips. Night and Day! The energy is so incredible there, everyone welcomes you with a smile! I went to a Snap by my in-laws house last Friday, and grant-it, it was during the daytime on Good Friday, but still… it was so… I don’t know… so… boring. There weren’t very many people there, the energy was low, no one talked to anyone, the person that was working just stayed in her office… it just wasn’t like ours. It really made me appreciate ours more, how dedicated and how awesome it really really is! Chris (my husband) and I had joined a snap in 2005 when we moved in together, about an hour and a half from where we live right now, and we thought we better get our butts moving – so we joined, and we only worked out there once. He (the owner) barely showed us the machines, didn’t give us any input on what weights we should use, what machines we should or shouldn’t use, what targeted what on your body… it was just so different, and maybe it has changed since that was 3 years ago now, maybe it’s a requirement for the owner, or person on staff now to show you all of the machines and run you through a little workout, but still… it just makes me enjoy our Snap SO much more!!

Eating has been going great as well, I have really been paying attention to what I put in my mouth – although it hasn’t been very hard since I have been following an eating plan for the past 5 days from T and H. I feel this time around is the last time I cross this bridge… I am looking at this completely different, with eyes and arms wide open. My coach told me, as I’m sure I mentioned before, but I’ll never forget it, she told me when I first started, “It’s not about what you can’t have, it’s about what you CAN have.” It’s not that you cannot have that cookie, you cannot have that ice cream, you cannot have that candy bar, you cannot have that big greasy cheeseburger and fries, because I CAN have it, I can have ALL of those things, every single one of those bad things out there, I CAN have them, but… do I want them? Do I realllllllllly really want them? Are those the GOOD calories that will keep me full for a long time or are they the bad calories that will make me hungry again in an hour or so. I choose to look at this as I can eat anything and everything I want – but do I want it? 9 times out of 10, no! I don’t want it… why do I want to eat something that is going to make me upset, and going to make that number on the scale go up and set me back that much further. What is the point of that? Last weekend on Saturday, I COULD eat that Dairy Queen Blizzard, and I DID, but guess what? I ate about 1/4 of the medium blizzard and threw the rest in the freezer for whoever else wanted to eat it. I could have ate the whole thing, but guilt set in and I did NOT want that 980 calories to impact my weight, had I eaten that whole thing. First off, NINE-HUNDRED-AND-EIGHTY calories!! 980!!!! 44g of fat! 540mg of sodium! 113g of sugar! ALL for a little ice cream! Hold on their batman, that’s NOT something I want nor need… YES, I can have it, but NO (!!) I do NOT want it! That was just a wake up call for me too – I didn’t realize there were 980 calories in that – next time you go to DQ, before you go, take a look at their nutrition guide… I bet you’ll think differently before going, I know I will now! So, since I ate 1/4 of the blizzard, I had 245 calories. 11g of fat, 28g of sugar, and approx 135mg of sodium… that is a little better. Geez. And, as you know I said I went up about 2 lbs over the Easter weekend – I weighed myself nakey on the scale on Thursday morning, I was at 235.8, I got on the scale on Sunday morning after our Easter festivities on Friday and Saturday, and I still was at 235.8 – I hadn’t gained a single pound, I was so proud – that was my goal, to at least stay the same! Then we went to my parents for Easter on Sunday and she had the normal, Ham, Cheesy potatoes (she made 2 batches, one low fat one for Chris and I, and one normal one for others, and to be honest, you could BARELY tell the difference of them!), anyways, I had ham, and a small scoop of the lowfat cheesy potatoes, and some corn, and a bun and then for supper Chris and I had left over ham and a few LF cheesy potatoes and when I got on the scale Monday morning, it showed that I was up 2 lbs – so I definitely think I over did it with the sodium intake on Sunday, but now I’m back down almost 4 lbs if you count the 2 lbs I was up! Persistence pays off!

I’m anxious to see what the scale says tonight when I weigh in. I will say, weighing in 2-3 times per week has helped me TREMENDOUSLY! I will weigh in again tomorrow night, and then return to my normal M, W and F coaching… it has been making an incredible impact on my attitude and willpower! AND, seeing that scale go down more than it goes up has been a huge motivator too – and I’m feeling better. I can feel now that I’ve been working on my abs that my clothes are fitting a little different – mainly right around my waist – and when I suck in, I feel like I’m sucking in – my abs get tight.

Chris has been eating healthy too, and he is doing TBL Online, and he has lost I believe almost 10 lbs now too. He has been working out at the gym at his work after his shift is over, and he has been making his food every day, and preparing the main dishes on Sunday and freezing them so he doesn’t have to worry about them all week. I’m so proud of him… he is dedicated, and that is helping me too! Our house does not have a SINGLE ounce of junkfood in it – not in the fridge, nor freezer or cabinets… notta! Well, there are 3 boxes of unopened Girl Scout cookies, but those don’t even tempt me – I don’t want them, and Chris is supposed to be bringing them to his work friends so they can eat them. I better make sure he takes them tomorrow! I always thought having Chris diet or eat healthy and try to lose weight would have a negative effect on me – in prior attempts, he would lose 5 lbs right off the bat, and brag about it and rub it in my face, when I’m struggling to lose 1 or 2 lbs, and then I’d take that to heart and get discouraged… so I never wanted him to diet when I did… and if he did, I didn’t want to hear about it. So when he said he was going to join TBL Online, I was a bit apprehensive, I wasn’t sure how it was going to go. At first I thought Please, No… but you know? I think since I feel like I’m looking at this completely different, it has had the reverse effect on me. I’m proud of him, I proud of the eating he is doing and the dedicaton he has, and I’m even more proud and thankful of the inspiration and dedication he/it has given ME! Before when I would be trying to eat healthy or lose weight, he wouldn’t be and then when we’d go to his parents house on the weekends, I’d always cave! If he was having that greasy burger and fries, I could have it too! Now? Now he doesn’t have any interest in that type of food, and now instead of just me trying to eat healthy when we go up there, now it’s both of us. We’re a team, we want a family of our own some day, we want to be healthy parents and set good examples for our child(ren), and in order for us to do that, we have to do it for ourselves, first. He supports me, and encourages me when he knows I need it. He KNOWS what I want, and my goals, and what I need to hear… and no, he no longer rubs his weight loss in my face… we talk about it, and encourage and compliment each other like we should be doing! We are proud of ourselves and each other!

So, as you can see by this incredibly long post – I HAVE done a lot of reflection, and reflecting on the changes I have encountered in the past month. I’m looking at it in a whole new light, and I am so very very proud of myself.

re·flec·tion (ri flek′s̸hən) 1. the fixing of the mind on some subject; serious thought; contemplation 2. the result of such thought; idea or conclusion, esp. if expressed in words

I’ve got several new things going on…kind of. Number one, most important – I joined Snap Fitness.

Number 2, I gained some weight, now I’m back down a little again. I will update my weight history page. I’m not sure how the gain happened… well, I know how, but it was a bit surprising.

Number 3, I am completely forgeting about my past life style/dieting changes and tries in the past. Fresh slate. Not looking back. I can’t. If I do, I’ll think of myself as a failure and be upset, and not focus on the important things like I should be. I find I have a whole new outlook on what has been going on, and truthfully 100% in my heart feel that I am ready to make this choice. I feel like for me, for my future, for my future family, and for myself and my husband, this is the best choice for me right now. I have decided to look at “dieting” as just, life. Life at that. I’m not going to tell myself I have to make any changes, I’m not going to refer to it as dieting. I’m going to refer to it as many other people do, and that is a “life style”. It’s life, it’s part of it. In dieting, if you tell me that I cannot have something to eat, I’m going to crave it. Right? And then that’s when I cave and eat “that” thing that I supposidly cannot have… and then it all goes down hill from there. You all know how that works, right? So, this whole new outlook, has been great… and this weekend, it has really really worked well. We were up north this weekend and that is usually a huge problem for me… instead, it was great. I was able to enjoy certain things, but I enjoyed them in moderation, and I listened to my body for when I was completely full, then I stopped. I wasn’t miserable, I wasn’t changing into my comfy pants from my jeans because I couldn’t stand the full feeling… I was just fine, for once.

I am really feeling good about this change, about everything that is going on. I truthfully in my heart feel that I am very ready for this. I feel more ready than I ever have – even prior to when I did LA Weight Loss. I feel more ready than I did 2 weeks ago… I didn’t feel like I was doing it for myself. I didn’t see the benefits in it like I should have. I had all these books and DVDs and workout games and online subscriptions and every “fad” diet pill in the book, and I tried doing little things… but in the end? In the end I was just trying to talk myself into making something work that doesn’t. Sure DVDs like the 30 Day Shred, and TBL’s Cardio Max and The Wii Fit and the bodybugg DO work, but they’re not going to do it for me, I have to be 100% in my head with this and now I finally am. Now, I have my 30 Day Shred, my TBL Cardio Max and my Wii Fit for when I don’t go to the gym. I still wear my bodybugg every day, I still use it faithfully – that I will not change, because that tells me everything I have burned for the day, and that is what keeps me motivated. Except now? I’m tossing all of my Biggest Loser books to a nice place to use as reference when I need them, I’ll use my Wii Fit when I’m looking for something to do at night and when I want to have a little fun, and I’m going to use that stuff when I feel the time is right. It’s not a game, it’s a life style… and it’s one that I can do. I know that.

For the first time in about 2-3 years, I feel like I should feel… I am proud. I am proud of how I feel during the day. I am proud to say where I am at in life. I am proud that I am married to someone who I could sometimes strangle but who I know loves me when every fiber of his being. I am proud that have a job that I love and that it was a goal I had set for myself in 2005, I told myself I was GOING to be that Underwriter, I was bound and determined… and I did it, I succeded my goal 3 years after my start date. I am proud that I have made this 100% honest choice to be the person who I want to be. Not who ANYBODY else wants me to be. I am me, and that will never ever change. I was also SO focused on “what does everyone think about me?” “will they accept me?” “Will I fit in?” “I can’t lose any weight.” I could come up with every excuse in the book if I really really tried, it really wasn’t that hard. You know just as well as I do.

And with that, I have joined Thin and Healthy Total Solutions through Snap Fitness – where I work out. 78 people at our small little gym are doing T&H and I see real life results, they are AMAZING! I am finding 100% joy in this, and I have spent the last week at Snap – 3 days per week, that is all. For now, that is my goal – I am not going to say I will be there 5 days a week, because then I won’t – I will set myself up to fail. My parents are going to the same Snap as well, and my mom and I carpool. I go right there after work and I am home by 6pm – with an hour workout completed for the day. My parents graciously offered to pay for my monthly membership because they know how bad I want this, and they want me to be healthy too. They know all to well that I am just like them and when I get home, I plop my butt on the couch and that is where I am for the night. I get that, I understand that and I am so thankful that they offered such an incredible gift for me. I am taking this with everything I got, and running with it. Another thing I love about T&H is that you weigh in 3 times per week!! THREE! I have NO excuses to keep making good choices – like today, I know I have to weigh in! And Wednesday and Friday! It is exactly what I needed.

And with that, I have a goal to lose 76 lbs. 76 lbs would bring me to my goal of 170 lbs. After I hit 170 lbs, I will see where I go from there – my time frame to lose it is 9 months however I am not banking on that – yes, it would be awesome, but I’ll get to 170 when I get there – I’m not going to stress myself out about it. Maybe I will be completely content there, maybe I will find myself wanting to lose just 5 more, and 5 more and 5 more. Time will tell, I am not sure where I will go from there – but 170 is my goal and if I can get there and stay within 5-10 lbs of 170, I will be extremely proud. Heck I will be extremely proud if I continue to lose (I keep typing loser on accident, ha!). I’m just so proud of where I stand today, and how I feel about my life, myself and my future.

The Thin & Healthy Total Solution life style plan consists kind of like LA Weight Loss, only working out is involved. I believe eating different is going to give you weight loss, however to keep it off, you have to incorporate fitness into your every day living. Even if it is 15 minutes to a half hour… if you want to live a long healthy prosperous life, you have to have activity. T & H tells you what types of food to eat for the day, it takes you through stages, it explains everything to you. I paid for 2 years, $26 a month – that is incredibly cheap compared to LA Weight Loss!! Yay! My first plan/phase is 4 days. It is kind of like the cleansing phase, although different. Here is my meal plan:

Breakfast: Day 1 & 3
Cereal
1 cup 1/2% or skim milk or non-fat yogurt
1 Fruit
Decaf/Sugar Free Beverage

Breakfast: Day 2 & 4
1 Protein
2 Slices 40 Cal bread
1 Fruit
1 tsp Simply Fruit (optional)
Decaf/Sugar Free Beverage

Lunch: Every day
4 oz Meat
2 Slices 40 cal bread or 1/2 pita bread or 1 fat-free tortilla
1/2 C. Fat Free Cottage Cheese or non-fat yogurt or 1 oz fat free chz slice
Unlimited Vegetables Raw or Steamed
Decaf/Sugar Free Beverage

Snack: Every day
I can pick from 1 of the following below.

Dinner: Every day
4 oz Meat
1 Med Baked Potato or 1/2 cup rice
1 Fruit
Unlimited Vegetables Raw or Steamed
Decaf/Sugar Free Beverage

Evening Snack: Every day
Choose from 1 of the snacks below.

*Food I can choose from!*
Cereal’s: 1 cup Puffed Wheat, 1 Cup Puffed Rice, 1 Cup Shredded Wheat, 1/2 Cup Fiber one, 1 Cup Kix, 1 Cup Cheerios, 1 Cup Corn Flakes, 1/2 Cup All Bran Extra Fiber, 1 Cup Regular Oatmeal, 1 Pkg T & H Oatmeal, or 2 rice cakes
Fruit’s: 15 grapes, 1 1/4 cup strawberries, 1/2 cup peaches, 1/2 banana, 1/2 cup pineapple, 1 small apple, 1 small kiwi
Protein’s: 1 egg (poached, boiled, scrambled, fried in Pam), 2 egg white omelet, 1/4 cup Egg Beaters
Meat’s: 4 oz seafood, 4 oz poultry, 4 oz lean beef, 4 oz veal, 1/4 cup tofu – 1 oz meat, 1 cup lentils = 2 oz meat, 2 Tbsp reduced fat peanut butter
Snack’s: 2 Rice cakes, Raw Veggies (unlimited), T&H Supplements, T&H bar
Spices: 0 fat grams, any spices that do not contain sugar such as Mrs. Dash, Molly McButter, Vanilla, Fresh or dried herbs (dill, oregano, parsley, tarragon, chives), pepper, lite salt, paprika, chili powder
Things I can Use Daily: Fat-Free Margarine, Fat-Free Mayonnaise, Fat-Free Sour Cream, Fat-Free Salad Dressing.

Today’s Meal Plan – Monday April 6th, 2009
Breakfast:
1 Cup Oatmeal – Plain
1 Cup Skim Milk
1/2 Banana
Water

Lunch:
2 Slices 40 Cal Bread
2 Tbsp RF Peanut Butter
Bowl of Steamed Green Beans
15 Grapes
Water

Snack:
2 Chocolate Crunch Rice Cakes

Dinner:
4 oz lean beef
1 small/med baked potato with fat free sour cream and fat free margarine
Steamed broccoli with FF Margarine
1/2 banana
Water

Snack:
Celery sticks or a few baby carrots

So, as you can see – it has everything laid out. This is for the first four days. I want to try to post everything on here that I am eating per day.

Also, in other news – when I was mentioning my sleep studies… actually now that I look back, I briefly mentioned. I’ll update you all… I went in and had my sleep study and was not diagnosed with Sleep Apnea. I didn’t have enough apneas through the night to be considered someone that needed treatment… however, my doctor was very concerned with some of my sleep habits and my Epworth Sleep Scale Score and my history of fainting/blacking out so she referred me to have another sleep study, this time an MSLT Study which is a day time sleep study. I took five 35 minute naps every hour and a half. My doctor was concerned about the chance of me having narcolepsy. I completely my nap study, and after 5 naps, I had REM sleep in 2 of the 5, and in the 5 naps it took me 6 minutes to fall asleep. A normal person without narcolepsy falls asleep right around 15 minutes after going to bed, and that person ALSO does NOT have ANY REM sleep during those five 35 minute naps. So, needless to say – I was diagnosed with Narcolepsy and given a prescription of Add*erall 20mg BID PRN (twice daily, as needed). My first day on Add*erall was last Friday, and I can already tell what a difference this medication is making in my daily life – I am SO glad to finally have an answer to my daily life – troubles, tiredness, non-focus, etc. Thank God!

My husband Chris has also started with me. He weighs 280 lbs and although he doesn’t look like he weighs that much (he has a lot of muscle) he still does not like that number, and he would like to see himself around 240 and more muscle which I completely get. He’s sick of being tired and irritable all the time too, and being out of breath walking up the stairs, etc. I understand that, and I get that… and I’m so proud of him for wanting to change too. He joined the gym at work and last week worked out 3 days of the week after work. His carpooler though I don’t think will want to continue working out at the gym and if that discontinues, Chris is going to join Snap too! I think he would love it there… there are several more weight machines than at his work and it would give him a chance to meet more people! Yay for that! He bought ALL groceries for this week to eat all 6 meals (snacks too) a day.

This is going to pay off, I have no doubt!

I wasn’t happy when I saw the scale, but I’m over it. I can’t change anything about the number now – so I just have to push forward! I did however meet my goal for the month – so far. I had my first initial dietitian appointment on 2/25/2009. My goal was to lose 6 lbs by 3/25/2009; so far as of today I am down 7 lbs in the past month – so that is okay, I will take that. I won’t think about the fact that I WAS down 10.5 in one month. It’s okay, I can accept where I’m at now.

You just have to keep pushing on forward when things don’t go quite your way. I’m still under the 240.0 mark that I swore myself I wouldn’t go over – but really, if I did go over it – it’s not like it’s going to change anything; I’ll just keep pushing forward!

So, with that – that’s why it’s all Bittersweet… I still met my monthly goal of 6 lbs (really 7 lbs) down in one month – and who knows maybe I’ll lose another pound by Wednesday, I’m not counting on it though. I still had a 1000 calorie deficit today too after I did the shred, and that’s my daily goal – so it’s okay.

Also, if you can’t tell from a few of my posts I’m mixing up my workouts – I really like it that way. I don’t get bored very often, and I look forward to trying something new. Chris, my husband just bought P90X so that is here, we just need to get a chin up bar and I’m hoping to start that too! And, I will say – the Shred was still hard today, but I don’t feel like I burn enough calories – might be time to step it up a bit.

How did you do? What would you have done differently this week?

I could tell you about how sore I was feeling today, and yet how good it felt.

Instead, I’m going to tell you about how fucking back my back hurts, and the left side of my butt, down my thigh and legs… mainly my back.

I did The Biggest Loser Cardio Max – Level 1. 30 minutes. That’s it. With hand weights. And I kept moving – likely wrong, and I think I was straining my back and wasn’t supporting it like I should have been.

Because I can’t walk or sit or stretch or extend my back without wincing in pain.

Needless to say, there will be no workout tonight.

I hurt.like.hell.

…and tomorrow? I’m sorry. I won’t probably be watching my diet a WHOLE lot… Chris (my husband) and I are going to the casino about half hour away to see Darius Rucker and enjoy our 6 month wedding anniversary which is actually today! 6 months…woohoo! Ha!